Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Looking for a one-word description for today's 6-1 victory against Chicago in game four of the Conference Finals? Here's mine:

Hilarious.

Let's get this straight. The Wings were playing on the road without the best defenseman in the league and their Hart Trophy candidate, and they still beat the Blackhawks 6-1? Unbelievable. There's no way I saw that coming.

Detroit killed them. They ate them for breakfast. They verbed the adjective noun and they metaphored like a simile. That game was like a wonderful version of hockey mad libs. The Wings scored early and often, while the 'Hawks lost all composure and took idiotic penalties. And yes, they were penalties, no matter what Joel Quenneville had to say afterward.

His take on the roughing penalty to Matt Walker at the end of the first period that led to Valtteri Filppula's goal and the Wings' 3-0 lead...

"I think we witnessed probably the worst call in the history of sports there," Quenneville said.

"You know, they scored, it's 3-0. They ruined a good hockey game and absolutely destroyed what was going on on the ice," he said. "It was a call that could. ... never seen anything like it."

Yeah Joel, it was the worst call in the history of sports. I didn't even see the penalty you're talking about (because it didn't even merit a replay on NBC), but I know you're an idiot for saying that. How could a two-minute penalty when your team is already down 2-0 ruin the game? Oh, you've never seen anything like it? How about in game three, when a different player in red was given a major penalty and a game misconduct for an entirely clean hit? Sound familiar? Yeah. Shut up Joel Quenneville, you're just being...

Hilarious.

Simply put, the 'Hawks are done. They tried real hard and all, but they're going down fast. Cristobal Huet can't stop a beach ball, let alone a small rubber disc. Everyone on the team, except Jonathan Toews who actually played well and acted like a captain should, lost their cool and tried to cheap shot the Wings on multiple occasions. Kris Versteeg took a roughing penalty, got out of the box and immediately took another roughing penalty. Ben Eager came back from a ten-minute misconduct in the third only to be kicked out of the game immediately afterward when he decided to run a Red Wing player like a crazed bull.

The Red Wings pulled their starter just so he could rest. They played Brett Lebda on the power play. They couldn't have tried harder to throw this game away. I've seen my share of blowouts in hockey, but I don't think I've ever seen one get so out of hand in the playoffs -- and I saw the Red Wings beat Colorado 7-0 seven years ago. The Blackhawks didn't mount so much as a single charge in the third and virtually boarded the flight to Detroit for game five during the second intermission. Shocking but yet so...

Hilarious.

I couldn't help but laugh. I was a little worried about possible injuries because most of the 'Hawks were playing such reckless hockey, but it turned out alright. As TTD accurately predicted, Hossa came up huge. Ozzie was solid in net for his two periods, Zetterberg was a menace and the whole defense stepped up. The Wings play again on Wednesday at home and try to rap up the series in five quick games. My guess: Lidstrom and Datsyuk both miss game five and the Wings still win. Hell, maybe Hossa, Zetterberg, Rafalski, Holmstrom, Filppula, Cleary, Samuelsson, Leino, Stuart, Kronwall, Ericsson, Osgood, and Conklin all come down with day-to-day injuries too. I still think a line of Abdelkader, Helm, and Maltby with Leather Cheli and Lebda on D would beat these 'Hawks without any reserves. And I find that...

Hilarious.

See you Wednesday. Go Wings.

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