Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!

Great picture, isn't it? You're welcome.

It's so nice to see the Datsyukian Delight finally get some credit for his efforts, as he is a finalist for the Hart, Selke and Lady Byng trophies this year. Even though I'd love to see Dats win it, the Hart is going to go to Malkin and Ovechkin will be a close second. But, as you can see from my picture, the winner of the award doesn't concern me because Pavel clearly has his mind on other things.

The Quest for Lord Stanley's Cup (try saying that with any other sports championship trophy and you might get kneecapped) is one full round in. The last two teams to advance last night were the Carolina Hickcanes, in a shocking upset of the Devils in the final minutes of a game seven, and the Washington Capitals, who completed their comeback from a 3-1 series hole against the Rangers to win it in seven games. I was 6 of 8 in the first round, only erring in the New Jersey-Carolina and Chicago-Calgary series (it appears I was actually taking crazy pills when I picked the Flames). I'm satisfied with that...it's the exact same number of teams I picked right last year too. And now that all of the matchups for round two have been decided, I'm ready to pick my winners for this one:

Eastern Conference

(1) Boston Bruins vs. (6) Carolina Hurricanes


The Bruins looked really, really good against the Canadiens. They won four straight games, got solid but not outstanding goaltending from Tim Thomas and beat the Habs. The Hurricanes, meanwhile, lucked their way past the Devils with some untimely goals let up by Marty Brodeur even though their team is actually pretty bad. This series between the Bruins and Canes annoys me greatly because it basically gives the Bruins another free pass. The Habs are crap, the Canes are crap and then woo hoo, they're in the Conference Finals. Stupid, but oh well. Boston in five.

(2) Washington Capitals vs. (4) Pittsburgh Penguins


The Capitals looked more than vulnerable in the first few games of the Rangers series, but rookie goalie Somebody Varlamov has them playing with confidence and poise. The Penguins have been waiting around for their next opponent after dispatching the Flyers in six games, and have looked as sharp as they were last year. Marc-Andre Fleury looks insane and I think he carries this series. Ovechkin, Crosby, and Malkin make this series a huge one for the league, but as Melrose said this morning, it will be the goalies who steal the show. My money's on Fleury. Pittsburgh in six.

Western Conference

(2) Detroit Red Wings vs. (8) Anaheim Ducks


Awesome. The epic series that should have happened last year if the Ducks weren't so hungover is finally happening. It will be stressful, I will hate me some Poultry and I will yell more obscenities at the TV than ever before. Boy, do I hate these players. Pronger, Niedermayer, Selanne, Getzlaf, Perry, Parros, everyone else. There's not a single player I like on this team. It's going to be a blood bath, and I think Detroit will emerge. The Wings and more importantly, Osgood, looked real sharp in their first round sweep of the Blue Jackets. The Ducks are no regular eighth seed and have Jonas Hiller playing phenomenal hockey, but they take way too many penalties to get away with this series. Detroit's power play is ridiculous and the Wings won't stoop to Anaheim's level of play (as the Sharks did). Those keys, and Osgood, keep the Wings flying towards Cup #12. Detroit in six.

(3) Vancouver Canucks vs. (4) Chicago Blackhawks


Ugh. I don't even want to pick this series. The Canucks, who have never won a Cup and will never win a Cup as long as I live, aren't going anywhere even with Luongo. The Blackhawks, who haven't won a Cup since 1961, are just too young and looked too mediocre against the Flames to give me any confidence. So, I don't know. Canucks, Blackhawks, Canucks, Blackhawks; they're both the same. Either one will lose to Detroit in the Conference Finals. Soooo I'm going to pick Detroit's bitch just to make it more fun. Chicago in seven.

Done. Necesito hacer mi tarea por mi clase de español. Game 1 is Friday night. I'll be here with pregame and recap. Adios amigos.

Bring on the Poultry!

God I love playoff hockey.

And, more importantly, I love the warm feeling I get inside when I see all of those sad fans in Columbus with their Ohio State hats and sweatshirts. Ooooh, so sad! Nahht. It just makes me feel good to see them whining about a too many men on the ice penalty in the closing minutes. Suck it, buckeyes. You don't even deserve a hockey team, so be grateful you get to watch a guy like Rick Nash every night.

If you couldn't tell already, the mighty Red Wings took care of business last night, winning in a tight but loose 6-5 game where every time I checked the score, another goal was scored. I couldn't watch the entire thing while I was working, but I can tell you it was frustrating to see the score go from 3-1 to 3-3 to 5-3 to 5-5. I didn't like the way Osgood played, but in all fairness, none of the goals were really all that bad. I don't think it'll affect him in any way going forward. The more important thing to take away was his play in the first three games. He's got it goin' on folks.

And that goal to win it in the final minute was awesome. You just knew it was coming when the penalty was called. And it was the right call, no matter what way you look at it. If you read my column about BU beating UNH in the NCAA hockey tournament, you'll know that I absolutely go crazy when a penalty is called in the last couple minutes of a tie game. It's dumb. But in a case where the rule is so ridiculously obvious that the referee has no choice but to call it (like this one), it must be done. If it was a discretionary call, like a hooking or interference penalty, I'd feel dirty after a win like that. But it wasn't. The Columbus player coming off the bench made a stupid play to touch the puck when it was epically clear that his teammate wasn't off the ice yet. Sorry, that's just a blatant violation of the rules.

And you know what? I'm glad it happened that way. Columbus didn't deserve overtime. The series was over; they needed to face their fate as immediately as possible. Have fun golfing, BJs.

In other playoff news, the Ducks are also taking care of their business against the all and powerful San Jose Sharks. The Sharks remind me of the wizard in the Wizard of Oz because every year, they seem like this giant, scary team that will win the Cup and squash everyone in their path but in reality, they're nothing but a choke-prone team that hides behind a bravado that they built up in the regular season. Haha...it's funny becuz it's trwoo.

Alright, I have to go. The Wings will have a week off before the play the Ducks in round two (sorry San Jose, you're not climbing out of a 3-1 hole with Evgeni Nabokov as your playoff goalie). I'll be back before then with something creative and an update on my first-round playoff picks.

Hey Columbus! Welcome to the playoffs.

Victory!

There's simply nothing more fitting for tonight's multiple victories than Johnny Drama's famous cry. Detroit crushed Columbus, and we cleaned house at the Student Org Awards. I had good steak, and Brad Stuart magically turned R.J. Umberger into dead meat. That hit was insane. In case you missed it...

Nuts. Even crazier, Umberger came back later in the game and scored the Jackets' only goal. It didn't really help though, since the series is over. Up 3-0 and outscoring the team 12-2. Out. Standing.

I was only able to watch the last eight minutes of the game, and even though they weren't the prettiest to watch since Columbus basically controlled the play, I don't care. I saw the major highlights and I've concluded that they played exactly how they needed to play. They took advantage of the hyped up crowd and made me look like a genius by dominating that key first period in 2-0 fashion. And 31 saves by Osgood?! I can't believe this guy. Worst in the regular season, best in the playoffs. Makes no sense, but I love him for it. This team deserves their own league.

As for our big night at TNH, we won Media Publication of the Year, Rookie of the Year (Christine Hawkins), Leader of the Year (John Ferguson), and Organization of the Year! After winning zero awards at the same banquet last year, it was a huge deal to be named the best organization on campus. Oh, and John's editorial shoes just grew a few more sizes...not sure if I have the feet for them. I'll do my best though, that's all that matters.

Final note: how did I miss this Pavel Datsyuk interactive pop-up ad on the Red Wings' website? Hilarious. Go Wings.

Game 3 Catch 22

Problem: The Student Organizations Awards Banquet is tonight at 7 pm. Game 3 is scheduled to start at 7 pm. I never want to miss a second of Red Wings playoff hockey, but it wouldn't exactly look very good if TNH won Org of the Year and next year's leader was off somewhere yelling and cursing at little hockey players on a television/computer screen. And the only way I can avoid that and still watch the game is to somehow jailbreak my iPod touch and stream live TV on it. Not gonna happen. Looks like I'll have to make due with frantically refreshing the score all night becuase I know I'll bite the bullet and go to the dinner.

While my Wings will play on with one fewer viewer, know that I'm not happy about it. Not one bit. If the chance to leave early arises, I'm jumpin' on that like I would have jumped one of the Titanic lifeboats. Oh, don't give me that look Women of the World. You're the ones who wanted equality, so don't judge me if I want to throw the people's elbow to one of the girls on the boat who can't spell 'equality'...it's just natural selection at work. Let it happen. Back to tonight's game.

It's simple: Wings win, the series is over. Wings lose, it's just beginning. I'm confident that the first period will be the deciding factor. Not the second. Not the third. The first. If the Wings can get a lead or even keep the score even after one, the game is theirs. But if they fall behind and those BJ "fans" get all antsy in their pantsy, I'm predicting a game three defeat.

However, I really don't want to see that happen, so show up tonight boys. Please. As A2Y so aptly points out today, the stress rockets up a few notches if the Wings are clipped tonight.

Final thoughts: Drapes is still out, Cleary's still in and the Blue Jackets are playing the sympathy card.
I can't really harp on the story itself, but I will ferociously attack the Blue Jackets' logo and mascot once and for all; the stupidity behind their choice never ceases to baffle me.

First, you're the Blue Jackets. Simply put: that doesn't exist. Unless you mean this, and that's not a mascot; it's an article of clothing. Second, if you want to claim that a "Blue Jacket" is really just a yellow jacket that's blue, then your freaking mascot shouldn't be GREEN. Finally, what the hell is your logo? First, it was this. Now, it's this. Neither makes any sense! A star with a State of Ohio flag swooshing through it? That doesn't tell me your team mascot is the Blue Jackets. All that tells me is that you're an Avalanche-imitator that wants to seem more American. It may look better than this or this, but it's wayyyyy dumber on the accuracy scale.

The sheer lack of intelligence in Ohio is staggering. Go Wings. Recap late tonight.

Normal. Normal. WHAT THE BEJEESUS?

Yep, that's right doubters. Ozzie is the playoffs' best goalie thus far. Eat it, everyone who thought Osgood would be just as bad in the playoffs as he was in the regular season. Suck on that, all you predictors of Wings playoff destruction at the hands of poor goaltending. Especially you, Cameron Kittle, who thought he'd be only slightly better than a dilapidated sloth with one arm and no eyes. Ozzie looks good up in that stat box. Although it certainly helps that he's next to the ugliest Russian maybe ever.

This is a perfect setup for a Game 3 jinx, but maybe this bad post decision will cancel out the other bad post decision of breaking my mid-playoff-writing silence. Fingers crossed.

Breaking the Silence

I can't do it. I can't keep quiet for another two months. Last year, I kept my superstition going for the whole postseason, but I'm just unable to do it again. I didn't post a new blog entry mid-series at all last year in the playoffs, and I only updated the blog in between series to make my picks. No more.
That's wallpaper-worthy stuff right there people. Amazing picture with an even more important significance.

I'm too excited about Ozzie's play in the first two games to let superstition keep me down. I'm too excited about Datsyuk's new Rahmani commercial to be silenced by the Blue Jackets. And dangit, I'm just too darned excited to see Yo-Han Fran-Zan rope in some mo' of dem playoff records. God I hate people who pronounce Johan Franzen's name incorrectly. He's a Swede, not an immigrant now living in Texas. Get it right broadcasters.

Anyway, that's basically it for today. I will be posting regularly during the rest of this series and beyond. I have some other things to get done in the next couple hours before I go see Kings of Leon tonight in Boston. And Flight of the Conchords on Friday night was awesome; they were hilarious. No hurt feelings during that show.

2009 NHL Playoff Preview!

I may not get enough sleep. I may not have the time to shower everyday. But this week, I have the NHL playoffs to look forward to. April is simply the best for sports: the Final Four, the Frozen Four, Opening Day, the Masters, and, saving the best for last, the NHL playoffs. I've written countless times how there is just nothing like it in sports and that feeling won't ever change. The intensity is unmatched throughout the entire two-month battle. Even some non-hockey fans tune in to watch! What other evidence do you need?

And, following upon last year's tradition, I decided to make my playoff predictions for the first round once again. I'm in a five-dollar, March-Madness-esque pool with some friends at school to try and decide hockey bragging rights, but I've thought about it for days and there's only one thing that matters: the Wings. I could make seven asinine picks and still be happy as long as my boys in Red move on. I could lose my left arm to an angry Blue Jackets fan and still be happy as long as the train to 12 keeps on rollin'. But Cam, you'd lose your left arm for the rest of your life! There's no way one more Cup would make you happy all those years...You make a good point Italics. But you're forgetting that Blue Jackets fans don't exist. They're all in your iiiii-ma-ginnnn-aaayyy-shunnn! Anyway, time for the picks; I don't have time to be arguing with myself in different font styles all night.

Eastern Conference Match-Ups

(1) Boston Bruins vs. (8) Montreal Canadiens


This looks familiar. The Bruins were in the Canadiens' spot last season and took the series all the way to a seventh game. The Canadiens haven't looked very good this year, due to a lot of injuries and a dash of Carey Price, but I think they'll turn it up a notch for the playoffs. Problem is, they'll be facing a Bruins team that has been incredible this year. My question all season long for the B's was their goaltending. Not that it was suspect, but that they might have trouble settling on one guy and having a mental game of tug-of-war where everybody loses. Looks like they're set on Thomas though, so I see them winning their first playoff series since 1999. Boston in seven.

(2) Washington Capitals vs. (7) New York Rangers


Interesting series. Lopsided, in my opinion, but interesting nonetheless. The Rangers choke. They do. They always have great teams on paper and lose in the playoffs if they can even make it there. This season, they looked amazing at the beginning of the year, but then Brandon Dubinsky and Nigel Dawes started playing like the real Brandon Dubinsky and Nigel Dawes and the team almost lost their way to a lottery pick. Meanwhile, the Capitals have been very good all year. Good defense, great offense, solid goaltending. I don't like Jose Theodore any more than the next guy, but I don't think he's due for a meltdown quite yet. Washington in five.

(3) New Jersey Devils vs. (6) Carolina Hurricanes


I fell flat on my face with a New Jersey pick last year against the Rangers, when the team defense completely fell apart and left their boy Marty out to dry, but this year the team is different. They may have slipped a bit off of their great mid-season pace, but the Devils still have Zach Parise and Martin Brodeur. Lots of people are picking the Hurricanes to upset the Devils here, but I can see right through that. There is no way in hell that two teams from the Eastern Conference's South division are advancing to the second round. Based on that and the big 'ol chip on Marty's shoulder, I'm taking the Jersey Jean-Skiers. New Jersey in seven.

(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (5) Philadelphia Flyers


These two teams met last year in the Eastern Conference Finals. This year, one has to go home in April. Sounds unfair to me, but I don't make the rules. The Penguins have been an enigma this year. With two of the top three scorers in the league and a solid young goalie, the Pens should have been competing for the East's top spot all year. So what if they lost Ryan Malone and Marian Hossa? It's still the freakin' East! But after a huge slump that had people saying they wouldn't even make the playoffs, they picked up Bill Guerin and Chris Kunitz at the deadline and climbed the ladder once again. The Flyers, on the other hand, have been fighting in the trenches all season. I love Mike Richards and I love veteran Simon Gagne, but I just don't see it. The Pens are just too talented and more importantly, too good at Mellon Arena. Pittsburgh in six.

Western Conference Match-Ups

(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (8) Anaheim Ducks


God, I hate both of these teams. I don't hate them enough to predict (slash hope-for) an explosion, but I'd love to see them beat the living crap out of each other. And oddly enough, that's exactly what I expect. The Sharks and Ducks played a home-and-home series already this month, and it was fantastic theater. The games were full of fights, penalties and very few goals. It was playoff hockey at its finest. The seeds don't matter here, especially with the experience the Ducks have in the playoffs over the past couple years. My boy John Buccigross picked the Sharks in a close series because "San Jose's home ice and goaltending give it the edge." Home ice and goaltending, huh Bucci? Might want to rethink that reasoning. San Jose has Evgeni Nabokov (Playoffs Version) as their "goaltending," and the Ducks have 22 road wins this year. Down goes Frazier in the Shark Tank. Anaheim in seven.

(2) Detroit Red Wings vs. (7) Columbus Blue Jackets


People are jumping all over this series like its the next incarnation of the 2003 Ducks, who swept the second-seeded Wings when they were defending Stanley last time. It's the perfect Rocky scenario! Steve Mason is gonna take down the champs! Please. The Wings are too experienced to let that happen, and they still have the Cup hunger in Marian Hossa, who wants to make his offseason pay cut worthwhile. Once this team gets going, they will be hard to stop. All they need to do is squeeze a couple past Mason and get in his head. Then, it's a done deal. Detroit in six.

(3) Vancouver Canucks vs. (6) St. Louis Blues


The Schmucks and the Lose. Two hot teams that don't have any chance to win the Cup. Ah, so sad. But someone does have to win this series, I suppose. I pick the blue team! Oh, damn. Color selection won't work in this one. I guess I actually have to think about it for a second. The Sundins will probably win because Roberto Luongo is the best goalie in the league and usually plays well in the playoffs, but I could see T.J. Oshie and Chris Mason stealing a few overtime games and taking the series to the limit. Vancouver in six.

(4) Chicago Blackhawks vs. (5) Calgary Flames


Melrose: Blackhawks in seven. Buccigross: Blackhawks in seven. LeBrun: Blackhawks in five. Hradek: Blackhawks in five. Burnside: Blackhawks in six. They're a team of rookies with a goaltending controversy! Hasn't anyone noticed this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! The Flames have Jarome Iginla, Olli Jokinen and Mike Cammalleri on the same line! They have Miika freaking Kiprusoff! I don't care if they only have three forward lines...Chicago hasn't been in the playoffs since who the hell cares and Calgary has Miika Kiprusoff! Why do I feel the need to explain myself!? The choice is clear to me, even if it's cloudy for everybody else. Calgary in six.

I need to get back to work. Early wake-up call and still lots left to do tonight. Enjoy the picks, and Happy Playoffs! It all starts tomorrow...