Monday, August 3, 2009

Claims

These are claims. Some outlandish, some offensive. They are all my opinion. Please feel free to refute them in the comments.

Baseball is too slow, but Verlander makes it tolerable.

UFC is a ridiculous fad and should not be advertised or promoted. It's basically human cockfighting.

Drivers who sit in a slow lane of traffic should not be angry at other drivers who whiz past them in the completely empty lane and then merge into the slow lane at the end of all the traffic. It's a simple matter of herd-following idiocy and independent intelligence.

Twitter is addicting at work but almost nonexistent at home.

Joe Paterno is too old to continue coaching football.

It doesn't matter if NASCAR is postponed to a Monday with no other sports activity; the only ones watching will be shirtless men, toothless women and/or brainless humans.

Tiger Woods will finish with 21 major championships.

Nicklas Lidstrom will win the Norris Trophy again.

Sarah Palin might, in fact, be less intelligent than former President George W. Bush.

People who follow/enjoy/don't-want-to-kill-themselves-watching-and-or-listening-to Sarah Palin might, in fact, be less intelligent than NASCAR fans.

I probably offended at least one reader with one or both of those last two comments.

Newspapers need to start making people pay for news content. The uproar would be huge in the beginning, but they would reluctantly give in bit by bit.

It's weird to hear an older adult swear in casual conversation.

It's annoying that Jim Tressel is a classy human being because makes it that much harder to hate his guts.

This year, Michigan will finish 9-4, upset Ohio State and win the Alamo Bowl. This claim falls into the outlandish category. I stand by it.

Tim Tebow will win a second Heisman Trophy.

The Winter Classic at Fenway Park this year will be good, but not great. Stupid Flyers.

I don't have any idea what the people at Old Spice were thinking, but their new online advertisement is not okay. Here's a hint: that "armpit" can be easily misconstrued as some other body part with copious amounts of hair. Gross.










Selectmen's meetings are some of the most boring hours of a young man's life.

And with that, I'm off to the Manchester Selectmen's meeting. Ouch.

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