Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Wolvewingerstons Post

It's been a while. Hopefully my loyal reader(s) have been following my events over at Tea and Crumpets, otherwise it would seem like I'm a slacker with an un-updated blog. If you actually have been following T&C, it might seem like I'm a drunk slacker in England with one un-updated blog. I'd deny that but I have a pint in my hand. True? False? I'll let you decide but I will reveal my location: computer lab.

As you can tell, some of my creative juices have dried out and the best title I could conjure up was a mixture of Wolverines, Wings, Tigers, and Pistons. Plus, the name sounds kind of sweet. Would you fight a wolvewingerston? I don't think I would, even if it turned out to be a mattress. The name's just too intimidating. Trying to figure out where this post's going? You're not alone. But I'm getting to the ficticious meat of the blog meal. I only ask for your patience.

Okay. So, plenty of things have been going down in the sports world and I've been a bit behind the ball in learning about them because of the Greenwich Time Zone. I'll break the important things down into color coded sections though, to give the false impression of extra effort.

  • The Detroit Tigers are still struggling to find their potential and remain 5.5 games behind Chicago for the division lead and a playoff spot. Even though I was really excited for the season, I remembered how few baseball games I watch before October and realized I'd only care if they got through the marathon-like season and into the playoffs. So, wake me up if they get in the pennant race.
  • They did raise my eyelids from their sleeping position though when the Tigers decided to trade Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez to the Yankees for Kyle Farnsworth today. I guess I see their logic. I mean, what's wrong with letting go of a clubhouse favorite who's a consistent .290 hitter, won 13 golden gloves as a catcher, and appeared in 14 all-star games in exchange for a consistently inconsistent middle reliever who has the odd tendency to suck. Sweet. Welcome to Detroit Mr. Farnsworth. Oh wait, you were there three years ago and you sucked so they got rid of you. Weird. So...welcome back, then.
  • After rumors swirled about the Detroit Pistons trading their best players and hardest workers, like Tayshaun Prince and Chauncey Billups, for headcases and troublemakers with skill, like Carmelo Anthony and Baron Davis, I was happy to see the team stay intact. It was until a couple days ago, when they invested $4 million in Kwame Brown. Name sound familiar? Yeah, he is usually used in sentences that have "NBA's biggest draft flops" in them. The former number one overall pick from 2001 has shown an impeccable lack of value in his years in the NBA and all I can say is I'm glad that this is the change Joe Dumars was talking about after the Pistons lost to the Celtics in the East Finals. Naht.
  • Finally, on a positive note, my lovable Red Wings are still proving to be a perfect franchise. They recently got Valterri Filppula, a great young forward with a lot of potential and key contributor to this past year's championship, to buy into the system and sign a five year deal for relatively cheap ($15 mil...$3 mil per year). I'm pleased.
  • The Wings' 2008-09 schedule was released a couple weeks ago and I'm incredibly psyched to find out that for the second season in a row, they will play the Bruins in Boston. Why does that matter to me? Because I can go see them! I'm already ready to buy tickets for another great Saturday, but they don't go on sale for a while. Be sure to let me know if you'd like to go though, as I will be willing to buy a few for others if people want to go. So, other than the November 29th date with the B's, here are some great games to be on the lookout for this season:
    • October 9th - Opening night. Stanley Cup Banner #11 raised. Oh, and they are playing the Maple Leafs. Great Original six battle. Should be a slaughter.
    • November 11th - Rematch of the Finals vs. Sid the Kid and the new Pens. Should be a good game. We'll have to watch out for Hossa though...he's going to come back with a vengeance. Oh wait...the Wings signed him. Ha, ha.
    • January 1st - The Winter Classic. Red Wings vs. Blackhawks at Wrigley Field. Potential snow. Potential renewed rivalry. Potential awesomeness. Be excited. The only possible downside of this game would be if Michigan makes it to a New Year's Day Bowl Game. I don't want to think about what I would do if such a thing happens. My head might explode.
College Football
  • Well I'd prefer this color to be maize but since it won't be visible on a white background, I'll settle for a navy blue. Anyway, Michigan football season is only 30 days, 15 hours, and some amount of minutes away. Here are some hopes and dreams for the first season of the Rich Rodriguez era.
    • I want a decent bowl game. The schedule's tough and we have the Evil Hick Dicks in Columbus right after Thanksgiving, but with a solid returning defense, there's no reason why I shouldn't expect a post-December-28th bowl game.
    • At least tied for 3rd in the Big Ten. I realize that Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan State, and the Huge Assholes are all going to be good this year but it would be a major disappointment not to be at least 3rd. I think the Hellish Mongrels will probably win the conference title, unfortunately, and either Illinois or Wisconsin will play second fiddle, but we should at least get third. Come on Rich, make it happen.
    • Make it a game on November 22nd. I know the Ugly Turdmunchers are going to be good and they're in hell, which is technically their home in horseshoe form, and we're not supposed to be very good, but let's just make sure nothing embarassing happens. Believe me, I still have high hopes that this year's team will be good and can actually win this game but at the very least, don't make things worse than they already are. If you can avoid a fifth straight loss to the Colossals of Crap, that's amazing, but if not, at least make it a game.
    • Overachieve. I've heard everything good about the hard work that's been put in over the summer and that the defense will be solid but I also know that the quarterback situation is a Baltimore Ravens one at best and learning the spread system is a damned tough thing to do in a year. So, even though experts are saying Michigan will be 6-6 or 7-5, go 8-4. Hell, go 9-3 or 10-2. It would make me happy, so get it done.
    • Finally, wear the maize and blue with pride. Run out of the tunnel and hit the banner with all your might. Play hard. Work hard. Study hard. Michigan is the best place for both athletics and academics in the entire world and I expect everyone on the team to show their school that respect on the field. Except in Columbus. I permit anything from shit to spit on that nasty excuse for grass. Still try and be respectable to Michigan fans and the team though. That'd be ideal.
Alright everyone, I've gotta go since the computer lab is closing and we leave for Scotland tomorrow. I hope you've enjoyed this post. It's been a long time coming...I've literally been itching to write about sports since I've been here in England but with so much to do and so little time to do it, I simply haven't had a chance. This will be my last post until I return to the States in a couple weeks though, so, enjoy it. Bask in it. Take it home and chew it. It's delicious. Until next time, adios amigos!

1 comment:

Garrett said...

The Michigan QB situation is more like the Packers but without Favre or Rodgers. A lot of confusion and no one makes sense.

I especially appreciated your commentary about our mutual rival.